Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Endless Worries

Realised that i constantly have something to worry and think about everyday, all the time, is it just me or it is the same for everyone else?? but there are also moments when i have no problems or any issues to worry about, i feel a sense of satisfaction for solving all the problems, thats when i'll just smile and enjoy the day as it comes, normally that kind of situation dont last long. =s

During army trainings, sometimes i'll be outfield staying overnight, i'll be laying on the ground on my back, watching the sky as time slowly pass, thousands of different thoughts racing through my mind at the same time, then slowly, i'll just think of nothing but watching the star-filled sky, thinking of nothing, taking a step back from all the things that happening around me, all the army 'sufferings', worries, and just enjoying every moment till i slowly drift into sleep. this moment also wun last long because the turn out will happen soon and everyone will be on alert mode. =s

Congrats to Sandra for completing her studies le!! must be a tough time, she damn clever, hopefully can learn from her, get the same or better results, and also maybe get her projects and notes if i choose to study the same course as her! LOL!! of course there are still many people who are working hard to excel, good luck to all!! hahahh!!

November's schedule is damm good! hahahah.. planning to go gym more regularly because i'll have more time as the competition is starting and their will be flying off soon! and time to get back some sleep! really very tiring, must get more sleep! ok, now im going to sleep! nights!

Fattydevil Lok

Friday, October 26, 2007

Boring yet Exciting.

Yoo hoo!!

Wanted to blog so long ago , just didnt have the time and discipline to do it, now is friday night so no excuse! plus there's really nothing much to so online, pretty boring, other than chatting with some friends and replying to emails, i cant really find anymore interesting things to do online, unlike last time when gunbound and yahoo pool is the best fun thats going around, nowadays really boring online. think i turning into a old man le. =s

Life is seriously so mundane, just a spark here and there to make it slightly interesting for that moment, but overall life is freaking boring!! someone save me!! LOL! no sports, no outings no nothing! what is everyone up to?!! my life very still, no new friends, old friends like not friends, sick of always taking initiative, might as well dont have friend. LOL! i found out something about myself recently, im becoming more abd more naggy, i like to repeat and make sure the person understand what im trying to say, keep on repeating and repeating, until i myself am sick of it. =s im really turning into a old man!! help! dont know what is the thing that always make me worry that i missed out on something in detail and i just keep on worrying!! plus i also realise i like to talk big reasonings, freaking old man!! damn! =s

Anyway, i got myself a new computer! cost me a bloody $1900!! HP brand, bought at harvey norman, some friends told me to put together a new one by myself, find it too troublesome, so might as well just buy ready-made. too many factors to worry again, old-man syndrome(OMS)! must really thank jia hong for helping me when carrying the cpu back to my house together with me, guess i owe him one for this. went to his house, saw him do his daily routine of the ritual that is needed to be done, really an eye opener for me, was pretty nice to learn something new. =) went with him to NTU to look for sylvia as well, was pretty fun as we tried to look for her room, or bunk as i call it, because it looks just like a BMTC bunk! green towels everywhere, guys in PT shirts walking around. the three of us went out to eat mac, was fun that we manage to catch up a bit here and there la.

Chatted with Anna a couple of times online, came to know that she's having some problems, poor girl, but sometimes i think is because she thinks too much, maybe theres nothing to it but she can just find something wrong with it, just hope that everything will go well for her. may her god bless her. =)

Other than the OMS change in me, i also realise another kind of change in me, i cant decribe the change in detailed words, its just a feeling, generally like no change, but i just felt it, Sandra felt it too. its like im not the same jie hao she knew a couple of years ago. jia lat, must be possessed by something. LOL! i realise i get agitated and irritated damn easily as compared to previous times, im guessing is because of the insufficient sleep i get everyday, or might be that army is changing me as a person. whatever it is, must apologise to Sandra and also thank her for pointing out this to me and to whoever im being rude to, please forgive me because im really not aware of it. pai say ar~ =p

Am also in contact with quite a number of people thru the internet these days. regularly mailing angelica and xihui, chatting with a number of people on msn, playing a bit of facebook here and there. theres this friend which i long time never chat with le, her name is maybeline, the reason is because i find myself damn boring and out of topics, i dont know the reason, with other girls i totally no problem chatting for many hours, even if im the only one talking for most of the conversation, for maybeline i dunno why i just cant. well, begin chatting with her recently, luckily she still remembers me! now the thing is actually im pretty interested in her when i first know her, and i didnt took the chance la, obviously, and i think that she has a bf now, sad to say, but happy for her. we were chatting the first time in ages and shes overseas now, attachment till dec, and she said that we should come out for coffee after she's back. damn! straight away i wanna know whether she has a bf or not. LOL!! the answer lies more with the "yes". but im keeping my fingers crossed, because if she doesnt have one, im not going to let this chance go again this time. was just chatting with her a moment ago, told her i still got her handphone number and maybe she can call me when she gets back. then she said "you realli still have??" i told her yes. then she asked me to show her to verify whether its still that number that shes using. now comes the problem, i thought her number was stored in the handphone im holding now, but the truth is, its actually in the old phone!! and its battery is totally flat!! damn it! i cant get any access to any information from that phone! i was so damn panicky, thought that i really kicked myself in the ass this time round, fancy telling a girl that you still have her number even after so long to show sincerity but in the end going to tell her and you cant find is really very embarrassing!! in the end, luckily i still kept the paper that she wrote her number on when she left her number to me for the first time. i remembered keeping that paper because i think its really something important to me in a sense so i'll never throw it away, had to really search for it, and i found it! and all this was happening with me having a stomache!! damn it, suay suay suay! i tahan all the way and told her the number and its still the same one. whew~ at least i got the number out. LOL! am so damn happy!! =) although i doubt it will have any effect on her, but at least i made the effort. =)

People are getting into alot of accidents nowadays, very jia lat, like today, one of the guys at my company got into an accident, quite serious, but luckily alive la, but really worried as well. take care and travel well people!! ok, damn sleepy now, am going to sleep le. will come blog again i guess, soon. signing off!! =)

Fattydevil